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Originally Posted by 1976kitchenfloor
Since many times the abuse in early childhood is perpetrated and covered up by family, I am wondering if anyone here has an ongoing family relationship with people who have abused you?
Are you able to be around them--and if so, how? What about breaking off 'dissociating when you are around them/in reaction?
Is a safe environment away from abuse and abusers a necessary element in effective therapy for PTSD, dissociation related to abuse, or DID?
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I am really troubled by the fact that DID is not understood or even accepted as a legitimate disorder by many practioners in the psychiatric community itself. How, I ask myself, can anyone treat the patient without a basis in understanding what is going on ?
So, I read books, looking for some common basis which could be applied to to DID. I am reading Self Comes to Mind. What part does the brain play in mind and self? What about awareness? How can this apply to DID and the basis and formation of self identity?
(I think of awareness as being the basic element necessary for having a sense of self and self identity. In my own expereince, the awareness of what others /alters/function had expereinced and felt was not there and that is why I think I was not functioning as one whole person with a continuing linear personal history. Only after becoming aware of my other aprts and having access to their own perviously separate expereinces/memories/feelings was I able to accept and acknowledge and work through all the peices of my life that were mine and that in the end ultimately shaped the whole intact person I am today. Awareness was the key: I couldnt acknowledge and react and feel my own life in entireity until " I" was aware and in the memory expereince feelings myself. )
I read Antionio de Silva's work in which he talks about memory being/making us who we are --and that explained a lot. "Of course," I thought to myself as I read, " if we dont have access and ownership awareness all our memories we are going to be less than a whole intact person--especially since the memories we are disconnected from are traumatic and fundamentally affect us unconsciously. "
Unlike other mental disorders drugs do not help a patient with DID. In my own case, I was misdiagnosed as a young girl and given all sorts of antipsychotic drugs for years. I spent years in and out of mental hospitals and had the mental and emotional awareness of the undead. Being sedated and altered chemically in my awareness and abilitites to function as an adult not only diminished my awareness of everything around me, when the mistake was finnaly discovered and I was off all the drugs, the misdaignosis also complicated my therapy and added years onto my recovery time.
That fact that DID does not depend upon drug treatment also leaves therapy dependent upon understanding and forging a solid therapeutic realtionship with the patient, and that in turn depends on the therapists understanding of self and mind and how we become who we see ourselves as and understand ourselves to be.
Any thoughts out there about any of this?
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my abusers were prosecuted and went to prison for most of my childhood, they were just released from prison not too long ago. I have a protection order preventing contact (which I obtained while they were still in prison going through the release process)
my point of view is that they abused me in such horrific ways that it created a serious, debilitating mental disorder that affected every aspect of my life, therefore despite being who they are and how they are related to me, they do not deserve having me back in their lives, they showed they can not be trustworthy around children and have in the past harmed a child in extremely horrific ways. there is no way they deserve to get to know my children or even be in close proximity to me and my children. it actually affects them not having contact because every time they are around my other family members they are constantly reminded of what they lost in harming a child so horrifically that it caused that under aged 5 child to have DID and that child having to grow up with all the problems that comes with such a severe mental disorder that DID is.
no having contact with abusers is not a necessity for healing. there are millions upon millions including me, that do not have contact with their abusers and have healed and integrated to become one whole person again.
suggestion contact your treatment provider, they will explain to you how not having contact with abusers does not hinder a persons healing process regardless of what mental disorder that person has, they can also speak directly in reference to you and your own problems and whether healing is possible for you.
um here in the USA DID is a recognized mental disorder with all treatment providers, you see treatment providers can not go on their personal opinion of a mental disorder here in the USA. some may hold the ....personal opinion....that DID doesnt exist but legally they have no choice but to recognize and diagnose and treat all the existing mental disorders listed in the DSM 5. if doing this goes contrary to their personal or religious beliefs they are supposed to stop treating that person and refer them to another treatment provider knowledge able in that clients problem areas.
if you have a treatment provider that is telling you that DID does not exist you can tell them that it does exist because it is in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5th edition put out by the america psychiatric association that lists what mental disorders are recognized /diagnosed and treated here in america. you can also tell them that there is a website where they can contact the APA their self for confirmation and information on this disorder, and you can also request that they refer you to another treatment provider that does work with dissociative issues.
not being on medication does not mean a person must forgo treatment for dissociative disorders. ....drugs do help some with DID because their triggers may be associated with things like anxiety/ depression\psychosis.....there is no medication to make someone not be DID because dissociation is a natural reaction to a trigger. the solution to not dissociating is addressing the trigger. Just like if you had a sore thumb you look to find the root cause of that sore thumb (trigger) so that you know how to treat that sore thumb,
short version there is no major secret therapy for DID. therapy for dissociative disorders is the same as therapy for PTSD, Depression and other mental disorders. some people heal in relatively short time and others it may take many years.
medication for things like anxiety, depression,.....
grounding....learning how to notice your suroundings, notice/recognize what you are feeling,
coping tools like relaxation, learning about what causes you to feel numb, spaced out, disconnected (in other words dissociate\switch)
Talk about your problems with day to day life and if you choose to talk about the abuse.
I know many people who have dissociative disorders including DID and they have been able to heal \integrate into one whole person simply because alters with DID are a special kind of alter with their own sense of agency (their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being created) when they are no longer needed for that persons survival they merge together to become one whole person again.
for example being on medication for my bipolar disorder, doing relaxation\grounding and stabilizing my day to day life to where I no longer needed to dissociate in order to live my live each of my alters merged together with me as their jobs, purposes reasons for being created were no more.
my suggestion talk with your treatment providers. let them know that you feel you may not be getting what you want out of therapy and maybe there is a way to work in what you want to do in therapy, regardless of what you are diagnosed with.
btw i have had and do have very solid relationships with my treatment providers. having DID in the past and now dissociative disorders did not impact \hinder\prevent my having therapeutic relationships with my treatment providers. in fact many were very interested given the rarety of DID. not everyone who has been abused becomes DID.
I did find on the rare occasions when i .....thought ....my having DID was hindering my having a solid therapeutic relationship that this turned out to be a transference of my own feelings onto the therapist. I did not accept my having DID therefore I felt my therapist would not accept my having DID. because I was .....projecting\transferring...my own denial onto my therapist I was the problem not the disorder or the treatment provider. this situation resolved itself when I went in one day and actually accused the therapist of not believing in DID, and such. turned out the therapist had a relative who was DID so they very much accepted the disorder, very much would have understood had I not self sabotaged by holding on to that idea of my treatment provider. after I started opening up on what my problems were, the therapeutic relationship was no longer hindered.
my suggestion let your treatment provider in on how you are feeling. they can help you to develop a better understanding of what they can and cant do for you and how to have a better therapeutic relationship.