Hello everyone! I'm new to posting but I have been browsing around here alot. I can relate to many of you. I guess I just need to vent . I suffer from post traumatic stress , depression, and social anxiety. I currently have a job at a call center. I feel like I can't take it there anymore. It takes everything in me to go to work every morning. I have to force myself so much that I'm vomiting every morning. My body hurts, I'm tired and I just can't get motivated enough to move. I think about my job all day long. To the point i'm restless at night because I know I have to work in the morning. I get to work late sometimes because I have to talk myself into going every day. I'm starting to get called in the office more and more about "behavior" problems. I guess someone went and told a supervisor I was rude to them. I know when I come to work, anyone I past by and make contact with, i at least smile and speak. I play my role very well hiding behind a mask at work and around family. The last thing I want to do is make small talk with someone and be all awkward, but I've been getting by. So I got called into my supervisor office yesterday, and someone labeled me as "rude" That someone is a lady who was standing behind me and I asked who she was. She was making me real uncomfortable just standing behind me while I was working so I tried to make conversation. It seemed to upset her that I questioned her identity and she told a supervisor about it. I know for a fact I'm not a rude person but because of my social anxiety I don't talk as much as others do and being too close to people I don't know freaks me out. All the supervisors have their favorite workers there who can get away with anything and are slackers. My phone rings off the hook at work and some people let theirs ring. I take all my calls. I've not once complained or anything but trouble always seem to find me. It happens with all my jobs and then I start breaking down and my depression gets worse. I always end up getting fired for behavior issues and attendence or I just stop going to work because I can't take it anymore. I often say to myself, is this it? Is this all to life? Go to work, get treated poorly, and do it all over again. I have no problems with working. But it's the people I have to work with that always creates a problem. I really need my job to take care of my family, but at this point I don't know what to do. I was thinking about telling my supervisor about my mental illness, but what if she uses against me? I know they're NOT going to accommodate me. What are they going to do, give me my own office? Get real! I already feel like they're picking on me as it is. I stay in her office a lot. And the thing is, I'm not in there for things I'm doing wrong job related. I just had my performance evaluation and it was all good. It's the he say, she say stuff. The rumors that's getting back to her. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. I can't help that I'm not very social and just want to do my job and go home. So now when I go to work, I know i'm on the **** list and it shows. I still don't know who that lady was, but she had some kind of power there, and she's using it well. Im called into the office more frequently for little things. At this point I know they're working to get rid of me. I want to save my job, but not at the cost of revealing my diagnoses because none of your information is kept confidential there. As soon as I tell my supervisor the whole office will call me crazy. I know it'll get out. Everybody knows everybody business. I just feel stuck in this hell called life