Why can't someone feel the same way and show it and respect I give to them when I'm on dates or hanging out?

Like it's ****ed up my luck with women has always been ****. I believe their intimidated that they can't give back what I give appreciation to them.

I don't have a choice either be fake or cold or get screwed over. Even if a relationship works, I'm so emotionally drained from constant upset, Like it really messes your head up being replaced all the time.

Am I some ones substitute an object to be some ones temp bf until the guy they really want comes along.

Like that's how I feel. It's an ugly feeling and it pisses me off. No matter what I do nothing helps make it easier or better always excuses and before you put the blame on me.

I do that enough to myself. I don't treat anyone poorly, unless if I'm in a ****** mood and no one area that side of me.
By what I mean is way hurtful things that are honest feelings not silly insults or anything physical. I don't condone violence I take it out on myself.

Man I was badly abused and I do that to cope when no one is around.

It's not fair I have to be a certain way too much expectation for a whole lot of nothing.

I don't seek relationships of what I want in the way most people do.
I want a close friend, I want someone to stay because everyone leaves me so quickly or uses me.
It's not my fault you feel worried or overwhelmed because my life was worse than yours it's such ******** when people give me a pity talk when I didn't ask for one. I just wanted your company and time nothing else.

I'm angry love isn't real, relationships are for certain people and the rest accept people suck so we either deal with it by choosing to stay single or end up lucky.

I am always alone so having someone around more than most people do is what I need, but I hate going out my way for people who make me feel unwelcome.

Why should I be punished for being myself and other friends of mine have their **** together easily finding somebody. I'm not doing this because they are. I told you, it's that I don't want to be alone simply been alone like lonely. It's a real pain I feel being isolated at times no one to hug or go out of do anything with.

Like it's this is so ****ed I don't have a choice. I say no more dating till I move.