abusers learn their behaviour from the abuse they themselves endured. that's a generalization but tends to hold true for many.

some abusers aren't aware their behaviour constitutes abuse...they know no other way of being. these ppl usually aren't receptive to therapy as in their mind they can do no wrong and nothing is wrong w/ how they are. to them all problems are w/ others and not themselves.

the best thing we've learned about abusers over the years is to get out and away from under their control whenever possible.

align yourself w/ other survivors who have done their work and are now in the position to assist ppl in need of help getting away from an abusive situation.

reach out to those who have escaped and found other ways of moving through this world minus the abusers they used to suffer at the hands of.

there is hope. taking action can be scary when an abuser threatens consequences for leaving. many ppl have been there before. when one is ready to leave there are ways, there is help, it CAN be done.