How often do you interact with her? Call her? Message her? When I finally realized that my siblings' behavior toward me wasn't in my control, but the amount of time and head space I gave them was, it got a lot better. Different issues, but I stopped calling them, stopped trying so hard to make visits work, etc. I dropped the rope, essentially. I let calls go to voicemail and only returned them if I felt like it. I sent email to a separate folder from my inbox so that I could check on it when I felt like it, but wasn't pressured to do it right away. I let go of the idea that I had to be super close with them just because we are siblings.

It has gotten a TON better. The less head space I give them, the calmer I am. When we talk now, it's peaceful. When we visit, I still get upset sometimes over some things, but I've also decided to just be in charge of myself and my family. If I need space or a break, I take one. I also limit how much time I spend with them on visits. That way I don't have enough exposure to get really worked up.