"I am really struggling right now with many things. I think if I were to die right now I would be in hell and that scares me. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and that if we believe in him we will be saved. I have been saved at least I thought. I have done so many wrongs and can't comprihend how he just forgives me. I don't feel connect and want that connection sooooo bad."

-Twirls, I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way a lot, I went to church all my life, ever since my earliest memories when I was a young kid, I always beleived in God my whole life, but I always have that doubt if I were to die I would go to hell..I still continue going to church every Sunday and wednesday, I also pray to God to forgive my sins, I live far from living a perfect christian life, because its hard for one, because having Bipolar disorder, when im irratable and depressed and when I get angry I do horrible things I later regret and when I pray to God, I feel a lot that he doesnt forgive me, like sometimes I swear a lot, and I ask for forgiveness, but later on I end up doing it again. So I try thinking that God knows me more than I know myself and how he is a "merciful God" he knows the difficulties I go through and I will still hopefully go to heaven. At least when I go to church afterwards it feels like I can feel his presence in my heart and calms me down some, and it makes me feel a little better than how I was feeling before church.