It's not a good idea, turns out. I've been rapid cycling, and the past couple days I've been better but still sensitive. I should have probably canceled my scheduled EMDR session today, but I went anyway because it's hard to get those appointments. They're booked way out. I did tell the psychologist I've been struggling with my bipolar disorder lately, but we went ahead with the session anyway.

It was pretty brutal. We got way into my trauma to the point where I started to shake and cry, and then I just completely shut down. Emotions clicked off, brain stopped thinking, everything just shut down.

Now, a few hours later, I'm feeling increasingly depressed and angry. I'm worried about where my mood is going, and I feel like I should have known better than to go in there when I'm unstable. But anyway, I'm just trying to take it easy tonight.