Wise, I am really so sorry when I read about your Jane. When we were talking last night in chat... it made me cry a little myself, and I'm being honest there. It's so clear that she really loved you and that she was such a wonderful person to believe in you and to encourage you to develop and flourish as a person. She gave you the confidence to be who you are today...I think some of her personality has been transferred to you, I think that is why you are the great person you are today. It's so natural to miss her so much, don't ever be ashamed of it or try to suppress it. You'll come out of this a stronger person, and with the spirit of Jane stored in your heart, helping you still in your life.