Flashbacks ARE hard, but they are also memories. I think the big difference is how real and painful they are. I don't know why we have them. It's possible NOT to let them control your life - it just takes a lot of practice and T-I-M-E. It sucks, I know. Do you have someone you can talk to, like a therapist? They might be able to help you understand things a bit more. Hang in there - you're not alone.