I've been drinking all week, and I finished my last 3 beers this morning. I'm determined to stop, but it's taking all my willpower. My body is screaming for alcohol, even though I know continuing to drink would only make me sicker.

But I've got to get through today. Tomorrow there's a drop in group at my rehab that I can go to, and I have an appointment with my addictions Dr. that will really help.

I'm staying hold up in my room and hanging out on line, and rereading Harry Potter books in between intense fits of crying.

I'm ashamed that I've let my life come to this, and at the moment I don't see a clear way out. I just know I need to be sober if I'm going to have any kind of future.

Still waiting to hear back from the rehab I applied to, to find out when / if I can get in.

There's an AA meeting where I know people that I could go to tonight - I may, it'll all depend on if I think I can make it there and back without stopping at a bar.

This is just so darn hard.

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