Thank you dear. I wish I had not gone. I LOVED his grandfather but it was too much. I had to grieve his grandfather and the loss of his entire family who I've loved for more than 12 years. It was SO hard and I still am very unsettled. By the point of the service, I had received my refill and had taken 3 doses of clozapine. It made me physically calmer but I thought I was going to die; I believe my insides have already died. I am thinking I will end up in a psych ward before the details of my divorce have settled. This is so distressing.