Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinVergil
No, no, no, sorry, you got the wrong idea about the whole role-playing or pretend thing. You see, although I have pretended a few times to be my brother, that was just to amplify the feeling that I was a twin, but that doesn't refer to my term of taking my place.
It's harder to explain than that, let me try again this time from a more personal point of view:
As long as I can remember, I'm always had Cesar (that's his name) by my side. I remember I used to have an imaginary friend named Sparky when I was a kid. I don't remember when he told me we were twins, but he share the same birthday. But as I grew up, he grew up with me. I always had daydreams of adventures between us, specially in boring situations like a dull speech in class or while in the super market with mom. But never the less, he has his own personality, I have mine. Sometimes we get into fights, in tough times I can count on his support, but he is very real to me. I still believe I can one day find him alive in this world and that maybe this imaginary version was simply a guide created by me to find him, or a replacement of him created by the twin bond, I don't know. I don't wanna sound crazy here without giving out a proper and scientific explanation. But for that I would need terms like "Twinless Twins", "Womb twins survivors" or "Vanishing twin syndrome" to be understood and be taken in consideration before giving me a conclusion. But yes, I believe my brother and I are two different beings. We buy gifts on our birthday for each other, we celebrate our birthday without inviting anybody else. Actually I might mention that. I politely ask friends not visit me on my birthday since to me it's a day of reflection. I tell them we can celebrate later, but truth is, I spend the day with my brother. And no, I have no control over him. I listen to him in my mind as thoughts, but I'm not sure if I could stop him from popping in. He's polite, he's never done anything like that. But things got completely out of control when I started to act all weird about it instead of just relaxing about it. He suggested relaxing.
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here is some information in general about what my location goes by when trying to figure out if a problem is a dissociative one or not. only your own treatment providers can say whether what is going on with you is a dissociative problem or not....
here in my location ....dissociation ... is a reaction to a trigger.... something happens that a person can not handle so they ...feel ....numb spaced out disconnected, sometimes feel like they their self or their surroundings\people places things are not real (they ...know... what is real and what isnt theres just a .....feeling....of unreality)
from this point of normal dissociation has more severe levels, it becomes the dissociative disorders you will find in my dissociative link at the bottom of my post.
here in the USA there are only two mental disorders where there is the situation of having others living with in the same body (this is called having alternate personalities) these mental disorders are called DID (dissociative identity disorder) and OSDD (other specified dissociative disorder) OSDD in general is a less severe form of DID. you can read about what america goes by for what these two mental disorders are in my links.
here in my location the distinction between whether the identity\alter is a dissociative one is the dissociation element... they take over when the one (body born or other one in control) encounters a trigger that caused them to dissociate (feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected....)
if the person or other uses terms that point to having a friend type relationship treatment providers here look closer to see whether this is an imaginary friend or a dissociative type identity...
example
when i get stressed out at work i feel numb, spaced out, disconnected, feel like either I am not real or everything and every one around me is not real. because of this dissociation and inability to cope with my work stress, feeling like I could not do something my work required my other identity named Rainbow (just a name Im throwing in here for example purposes) would take control. she would complete my work because that was what her job, purpose reason for being created...(sense of agency...) was. when things calmed down and I was no longer feeling triggered I would be back in control.
where as another identity named Snoopy and I would get into all kinds of adventures mostly fun things like going to the movies together, making cookies together, sharing secrets together, playing games together, taking a walk together, she was there any time. sometimes she still is here. my treatment providers call her an imaginary friend not an identity with my dissociation because there is no trigger, no dissociation, any time I want to see her all i need to do is say hey snoopy and ask her a question and there she is. one day my wife heard me talking to snoopy and set an extra plate for her and invited her to stay for dinner. As a child i had many other identities\fantasy\ daydream adventure partners\ imaginary friends. some like snoopy felt very real to me and others did not.
since you are posting in the ....dissociation... forum I am assuming you are trying to figure out whether this identity is a normal imaginary friend, or delusion\hallucination (some people have this kind of thing happen and its called a delusion\hallucination associated with their other mental disorders) or an alternate personality (dissociative type identity) which is why I am posting the information that I am.
my suggestion is print off your posts and show them to your therapist. your therapist will be able to explain more about the differences between having a dissociative type identity vs an imaginary friend and how to best help you either way.