Hello ticket13: I see this is your first post, here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Actually, the key to this is: just don't worry about it. Every one of us has our little fantasies. It's absolutely, perfectly normal! And trying to fight it is just making you anxious, which then leads to problems with ED. The best, easiest thing you can do here is just let it be. From what you wrote, you have a lovely, & loving, young wife. So just celebrate your good fortune! The more you beat yourself up over this fantasy of yours, & try to figure out ways to get rid of it, the more difficult it's likely to become.

Beyond that, of course, you could see a therapist who might be able to help you figure out why you have this predilection. If you felt comfortable sharing this fantasy with your wife, the two of you could actually make a game of it. But I realize this may not be practical, given the society in which you reside. But, basically, if you can just accept that this is okay... no big deal... it will go a long way toward solving your problem. As it stands, you're simply holding yourself to an ideal that you're not currently in a position to achieve. During a partial hospital program I once attended, one of the things they taught us was: "Don't should on yourself!" Don't try to force yourself to live up to unnecessary idealistic expectations. It's good advice...