I can't ****ing concentrate. I keep on writing two pages, then pacing, then smoking, then coming online, then writing in my journal, then listening to music, then sort of cleaning.

I'm not doing anything destructive right now. I don't plan on moving to Bermuda, or buying an estate, or running all over town partying and doing drugs, or jumping off a building or anything!

The only bad thing I've been doing is going off on people at work and destroying things. And being snappy and angry.

I'm not doing anything wrong right now!!!!!!

I just want to put a knife in my brain.