Thanks for sharing your struggle... & your perspective... mat4sanity. I've made 2 serious attempts previously, plus some other less-than-serious ones. However, as far as I can tell, I've now reached a point where I'm no longer a threat to myself. I'll simply wait for nature to take its course... with the caveat that I will not permit any major medical interventions & I will not allow myself to reach the point where I am dependent on strangers for my care.

Like you, I have struggled with mental health problems my whole life although I managed to keep the cork in the bottle. so to speak, until I had reached middle age. At that point, it all just began to unravel. I've been disassembling ever since. Over the years, I've done the psych med's & tried a few therapists. None of it was worth the bother in my estimation. I now simply strive to live in the moment & to accept things as they are... with compassion & equanimity... I wish you well...