Wendy,

It sounds to me like maybe you are back in the loop of invalidating yourself. What do you think? Maybe you are feeling like you need some attention and validation right now, partly because you are not acknowledging the reality of your pain. ??

As for your T's statement about "refusal to engage with positive emotions"-- you can guess right now what my advice about that is
TALK TO HER!!!!!

Anyway, I have an INSANELY busy day today and tommorrow, so it's kinda hard to find a chance to connect with you. I will get to your email as soon as I can, too. But I just wanted to acknowledge your post and acknowledge that you do have pain and you do have a right to it, and that doesn't mean you can't also enjoy moments of relief!!! You don't have to cut to get love from us, either. This post was enough for that.

(((((((big HUGE hugs)))))))

Love,
Angela