Thanks Pattijane. I didn't pick up on the fact that there wasn't any preparation or that it was the first time. I will say that the first time I went in I was in the middle of an episode an a mess. We kind of jumped in there. I vaguely remember my T explaining EMDR but I was pretty dissociated throughout my first sessions. I know we didn't go into the detail that is listed above (the levels, etc.)

We created a safe place and talked about self soothing techniques, etc. I am always asked if it is ok with me before we start EMDR and I am always in control of how far we go. I can't imagine trying to process without that foundational stuff.

I am a believer in EMDR. It truly has helped me. It has to be done the right way! It is hard work and my experience is that it takes a while for everything to kind of work itself through. In other words. I don't ever think I have left a session and I didn't think back through what we processed in the session. At the same time, if the things that I do to kind of help myself work though it don't work, I go back in.

Going back to your point about mania. I have found that I have been more susceptible to an episode while manic. Usually that lands me in my Ts office -- sometimes a couple of times. So I don't know what causes what --mania triggering an episode or an episode triggering mania -- I just know it is not pleasant.

My heart goes out to you if your psychologist has opened a door that he/she is not available to help you close. That's not cool at all.

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