I'm starting to realize that I am just existing.

I don't hate my life, but there is nothing I enjoy, either. Sure, there are plenty of things I do which are enjoyable. When I do go out with friends, I have some fun. But nothing in my life is fulfilling. I don't have anyone in my life who, I feel, gets me.

I know that the comments which follow are likely going to say take up a hobby--I have them. Or meet new friends--I could try, but a) it's difficult when you're single in your late 30's and b) I'm not terribly interested in the Meetup activities in my area in the first place. The friends I have either don't want to do the stuff I want to do or can't afford to, so I do it on my own, which gets terribly boring after a while. And they don't really invite me to do anything with them, but I feel like I probably wouldn't be fully present anyway. Family friends took me out to lunch at a great place today, and I was super detached, just listening to them talk the whole time. I have nothing to say. I don't feel like engaging. And they could tell--I'm usually fairly animated and talkative.

I'd love to go on vacation soon (I'll probably have 5 days off in August with no plans) but I don't want to hang out alone.

I'm just tired of the status quo.

Before I graduated, getting my degree and nursing license was my focus. Now I have that and yeah, I have to earn my BSN but that's a formality. I have a few vague life goals, but nothing achievable in the next few years.

I'm bored. I'm lonely. I'm restless, and I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin.