I think what your tdoc is talking about is integrating the adult you with the child. It is scarey but necessary to be able to move past what you are experiencing now.
This happened to me earlier this year. My todc told me it was my brain's way of letting me know I was ready to take on this trauma.
So, while it may not seem possible, it's probably a good thing in terms of your recovery. I just keep listening to my doc who tells me it gets better; it does all come together.

Take care of yourself and use your support system.