Definitely less stable today than I was the past few days. Having that mixed episode intensity. I'm calmer this evening, less pressure in my body and thoughts have slowed down so I can focus. It helps just to be alone doing my own thing, being around people is very intense when I'm like this.

Speaking of which, my friend took me out to lunch today. He's like a brother to me, nothing romantic between us, but I had such a strong urge to touch him. Like I wanted to cuddle up to him and touch his face and neck. I don't usually like touching people, so that was a big red flag that I'm not entirely myself right now. Whatever "myself" is anyway.