I also had PPD, with both my kids. And there was a miscarriage in between them that was pretty hard. I basically was high-functioning depressive for around 10 years. My husband would probably argue the functioning level, but I held a stable job and people outside my home generally didn't know I was depressed.

On the other side, when I have had suicidal thoughts, their presence in my life has been the main thing that has kept me from following through with making/carrying out plans. I can't imagine doing that to them. I have lived through the hell of violent thoughts against myself and against them when they were babies. I have also resented them when in the depths of depression for preventing me from checking out of this life. I don't wish that on anyone.

But I'm still here - and right now I'm in a fairly decent place. I don't know that I would be if it weren't for them. It certainly isn't a reason to have kids...I shudder to think of the times it could have been horrible if I wasn't just strong enough. But I wouldn't trade them for anything - I've never known a love like this. I never felt it so profoundly from my own parents, though they loved me. It's unlike any other love I've experienced.