Thank you all for your kind words. I have tried twice to get disability but it seems hard to get if you don't have a good doctor to help you. So i do what I have to do. Everyday its a constant struggle. Just people passing by my cubicle or someone walking up to me while I'm taking a call causes severe anxiety. When i try to be sociable it seems i never say the right things. I hate being the center of attention. I try to avoid it and now im labeled as rude at work. I already have constant negative thoughts in my head. This doesn't make me feel any better and makes me want to avoid work more. Every job i get, itll be the same way. Unless i can get a job with no people interactions but I've yet to find one. I'm lucky to have the job i got now. Right now its 10:20. I gotta go to work in 30 minutes and I still haven't convinced myself enough yet that this is worth it. Every morning its the same thing. I feel nauseated and I replay things that's happened at work in my head over and over. Sometimes I change the outcomes in my head to give me some kind of motivation to go. Telling myself i got bills to pay is just not enough anymore. Is it worth it for me to go to work and suffer through at least 2-3 panic attacks just to pay pills. I feel this is taking a toll on my health. On my way to work sometimes i wish a big truck or something will hit me. If this is all life has to offer me then I don't want it anymore.