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May 27, 2016, 01:09 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
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I wish I had fewer periods of mania and periods hypomania again. Hopefully when I get more used to stability I get periods of hypomania instead of mania again.
As it is, I prefer depression to mania or at least a mild mixed state where I know when I'm manic. But that's so tiring and my memory gets so bad that it's also quite hopeless. At least my perceptual changes are less severe now when in a mild mixed state than they used to be.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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