((((((((((((((sidony))))))))))))))))

i could relate a bit to your post. fear of being single was my constant companion so long. i'm still single, but heck, who knows how much longer? anyway, i'm not as worried about it anymore. keeping track of myself is a full time job as it is.

i could relate about the way life used to be and then how it became. nothing to compare. the blank empty. you asked if there was anything to look forward to. in my experience, there is.

at times the suffering is all but bearable, true. i don't want to sound as if i have achieved something beyond anyone else, but the moments of joy you may experience when the depression lifts will answer that question for you undoubtedly.

i can't tell you what your own path is. i think we all are unique. the same applies with the time it will take. when will you find the information you need, when will you be ready to accept it? pain is an element in the urgency.

i hope you will keep trying. i can tell you it IS worth keeping on. especially if you've known good times. you will be shocked how natural it can feel again.