Edit: I have MDD

I started the EMSAM patch in early September after a failed cocktail of Wellbutrin, Fetzima, and Buspirone destroyed my appetite and brain "signal" for hunger.

I did really well with this at first. I became more sociable and got into my hobbies again (art, music) and I was interested in TV shows and reading. This changed around Christmas, when I got severe insomnia. I spent all weekend over New Years abstaining from caffeine and doing anything I could think of to get to sleep: hot showers at night, lying there concentrating on relaxing each muscle in my body one by one - old trick I read in a social anxiety workbook many years ago - ear plugs, etc. etc. But nothing. My body was actively keeping me awake. I got my psychiatrist to lower the dose to 9mg and within a month my sleep got better.

Things have gotten worse since then. It is now almost June and I am in a total wasteland. I can't sleep again, my mood is really irritable and I'm starting to miss work more. My behavior is really concerning me - my mother is on her way to my town for a funeral and I had to tell her she couldn't stay with me because my place is an absolute wreck. I'm taking a lot of things people say as a personal slight and I know that's delusional. I am depressed & exhausted, every small task feels like a total chore, and I don't know if it's from the insomnia or if the med has just failed.

I see my pdoc this Wednesday and I am going to share with him my concerns on my behavior. I feel like I am hiding from everyone. At the least, I think I am going to have to switch from Xanax ER to the immediate release because it's not working, or some kind of sleeping pill. I don't like sleeping pills but I'm getting desperate here. I cannot stand walking around with heavy eyes everyday. I did get a blackout curtain and am able to get some sleep on the weekends so I take what I can get. Has anyone gone from EMSAM to another MAOI like Nardil?

Just trying to hang on...