This evening and night are going splendidly.
Around 18.45 I got a lot of thought and panickiness regarding trauma. Coping skills didn't work enough, so I took a benzo (this one is mildly sedating and calms me down)
Around 19.30 I decided, to hell with it, I'm going to bed early. So I took another benzo (this one is just very sedating)
And I just couldn't/can't fall asleep.
Now I have been fighting myself.. wanting to sleep, not wanting to take yet another benzo.. went downstairs a little before 0.00 (about half an hour ago) to have a drink (lemonade, not alcohol), talk to my dad for a minute and kidnap a snack.. and when I'm back in bed I suddenly think "Have I taken my REGULAR meds?" (those include clozapine, which is also sedating!) So.. I check, and no, haven't taken them.
So I took the meds.. and now it's starting to kick in and I feel like I might actually be able to sleep..
AND THEN I GET THE HICCOUGHS.
So that's, like, no sleep until these subside.