sinking, I think this invalidation of your pain, this feeling like you're "faking it" is a very BPD thing. It's linked to splitting, I believe.

I do it all the time. I sometimes don't even feel like I "deserve" my diagnosis. I have a job and a boyfriend, I rarely cut, I never attempted suicide –– so why should I be borderline at all? Where is my pain, is it real, am I faking it? But deep inside I know I have much pain and that I'm struggling so hard. Everyone can see that.

If you feel pain, then you're in pain, you're not faking anything.