For the last few months I have been in a mild mixed state. Irritation, euphoria, agitation and strange thoughts. In the last few days my mood has tanked but I am even more irritated and agitated that before. My T says it is a mixed episode and we are hoping this doesn't worsen. However since yesterday I have been struggling to function and am barely managing to work three days a week. I find my work atmosphere (in a big retail warehouse) freaks me out due to all the colours and sounds. The pressures of work are even becoming unmanageable and I am close to calling in sick for tomorrow. But I really don't want to as I took a lot of time of between December and February from my last bad episode. Another area of concern is an increase in suicidal ideation (no plan). I am also using pot and alcohol a lot to manage my symptoms but it is not helping. I want to get through this without taking time off work or being hospitalised but don't know how. Is hospitalisation inevitable when the ground falls out from beneath you?