I don't get it.
What is it U want us to do?

I can't support your misery.

I care, am willing to listen to you vent your anger, frustration and pain,
but at some point you need to be willing/able to MOVE-ON,
And live, because that's the only choices we have.

Really, it's that simple.

The details our lives constsntly change, but our perception of our lives (love or hate) should not.

You and I, and probably everybody here knows or has met somebody
in severe PAIN
(E.g. Starving, homeless, dying from some terrible illness, etc.).

PAIN, PHYSICAL OR MENTAL IS A SYMPTOM
THAT SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG.,

And the interesting thing is,
I don't remember any of those people saying,
"I hate my life" or
" I do not want help" or
"I do not want change".

If U R certain, U want to continue hating your life,
there's nothing here, or anywhere, that anybody can do or say,
That will be ok with YOU.

The day I joined this forum May 12, was supposed to be my last.
(A very long, well thought out decision I made over a long period of time),
Im not sure if I am relieved or regret that it wasn't (my last day),

But I do know,
I have nothing to lose,

by considering all SUGGESTIONS people make,
and CHANGING my thoughts and actions,
so I can/will/may stop feeling that way
(the pain of hating my life)

MY unsolicited ADVICE to you is the same:
(I know U don't want any ADVICE, but I'm giving it to U anyway (sorry)...

1. Take better care of yourself,
2. Be nice to yourself,
3. Do something nice for yourself.

The worst that MIGHT happen,
is that you may BLOCK out some of your pain.

And as the pain decreases, it LIKELY will be replaced with HOPE.

My story:
I went to sleep last night (miserable, wishing I was dead),
and I woke up feeling exactly the same way...

My life is in shambles (big, real urgent problems) AND
My misery is established constant and real...
BUT, since I dont like feeling that way (MISERABLE),
and may not have anybody today,
willing or able, to be NICE to me,
I WILL.

I have no other choices, (how I can/will survive 1 more day)
and it's a good, safe choice,
CHOICE TO BE NICE TO MYSELF. ..

And, I can't think of anytime,
in my entire life (5+ decades), that I was intentionally and deliberately NICE TO MYSELF,
and it caused any harm or negative outcome.

FORCE YOUR SELF TO BE NICE TO YOURSELF TODAY!

Hugs & prayers being sent your way, for a PPP day.
Please accept them.