I can relate. My abuse was extremely violent. When I first spoke about it, I was still too afraid to cry, too afraid to let any emotion out. It was just words. It took time to allow myself to grieve, to be angry, to feel just about anything about it. Be patient with yourself and let the feelings flow when they will. The one thing you should not do, I believe, is continue to suppress the feelings when they are ready to come out. You can be safe today. You don't have to hide from them any more. Allow yourself to heal in your time, but stick with the recovery process and continue to seek help from professionals and fellow survivors, as you are doing here. You're not making it up and you are normal. Be gentle and patient with yourself. And remember that you are never alone as you work to heal.

mtd