I don't believe the OP is saying she is blameless in this situation. She knows she pushed the boundaries quite a lot.

I'm the one who suggested maybe seeing a female T. I don't know much at all about the OP.... history, age, (I think OP is female?) but I know for my own situation, seeing a female T would work out better for me. I haven't had a lot of supportive men in my life, and I'm afraid I might get way too attached if I did now!