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I don't experience hypomania any more. It's mania from the start and it is clearly psychotic rather quickly. It doesn't (even) have to be affective psychosis. Before I had periods of hypomania, I had delusions (and mild hallucinations) as well. But during a period of 7 years or so, I was rather sane.
Does anyone miss hypomania and has experienced a similar "intermediate" stage of BP? Maybe the other way around?
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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