Hey, Roses! I am glad that you are able to see, at least for this moment, that your mom may not be the horrible person you have painted her to be. It doesn't seem likely to stick, though. Borderline personality disorder possible. plays a large part in your relationship with your mother. If you could get the BPD under control with the help of a therapist, your relationship might improve. Your conflicted self-views would also benefit.

Wishing you the best.