I want to preface and say that I understand that men's bodies are hardwired to need more sexual stimulation than a women's. I think men are hardwired to try and produce as much offspring as possible and women are hardwired to try and secure a mate to raise an offspring with. Of course there are exceptions, and we are more intelligent than your average animal so I think sexuality in humans is different for everyone. But nonetheless, I think by nature men's sex drive and libido is higher.

My finance would never cheat on me, but it irks me the amount of porn-like resources he keeps available to himself. He masturbates about twice on any given day, always at least once, maybe 3-4 times if he has the day off. He has snapchat where he follows large breasted models who post photos of themselves and he screenshots the photos and emails them to himself. He follows the same kind of women on his instagram and Facebook. He keeps a folder of photos of boobs on his google drive, which initially still had photos of his exes and other women close to him in bikinis, but I have since asked him to delete them. He has had a "momentary moral lapse" and taken photos of a girl in his class' cleavage without her knowledge. He still watches videos and has a plethora of sites he visits.

Oh, and he's lied about all of these resources. Saying the girl on his instagram is an old friend from his hometown. When I asked him why there was a photo of the girl's cleavage on his phone he said "no there's not". When I initially asked him to delete the photos of his exes from his folder, he said he would try but couldn't figure it out. I found out a year later, he hadn't tried at all and I asked him to let me try and after 5 minutes of selecting and deleting, they were gone without much difficulty at all.

I can't help but feel gross and like every time we are intimate he is imagining other women. I've asked him to dial it back and he says he will but its been an empty promise and absolutely no effort has been made, he just tries to keep me in the dark about everything. He says his secrecy is for my benefit so I don't feel insecure about the women he looks at. He says "tits are tits" and explains that he doesn't think about who they belong to or want to be with anyone else but just saves images that he finds easy to pleasure himself with.

To be honest, I feel like he is still lying and hiding so much from me. I find it incredibly hard to trust his word. We had a falling out last night and he is very much so in love with me and willing to try and work this out, but I feel disrespected and lied to. I love him as well but I absolutely cannot live like this. I have to force myself to not look at his phone and invade his privacy but I just can't trust him and he won't let me even touch his phone or laptop.

We live together and despite the issues with his high sex drive and porn addiction, we get along well and I'd say he's my best friend. But this porn thing makes my heart feel like its slowly boarding up and I find it harder and harder to discuss the same issue over and over. He gets so angry every time I try to discuss it, he usually either falls silent or yells at me for being insecure and not trusting him.