Hi HalloweenSkye: I was watching one of California therapist, Kati Morton's videos on YouTube a few minutes ago & she was talking about how self harm is a way of not dealing with something that's even bigger. So we have this thought (perhaps triggered by someone who annoys us for example) & because it's a thought that is really painful, as a way of not having to deal with the thought, we self harm instead. And then, to build on that idea, my thought would be that at some point resorting to self harm becomes a habit... the option of first resort. It becomes just what we do.

I'm sorry you are not feeling well... please take care...