I have a PMHNP (psychiatric nurse practioner, which is for both therapy and prescriptions here). I haven't called. At first, I just figured I could do it. Tough up. Deal. Or jump on it while too much of a mess to talk myself out of it, you know?

I don't know about home visits (plus it's not all that close by). I'm not sure if that's the ticket. I really like her, and she's been just great, but there is one drawback. She's independent. It has upsides too, but she can't, for instance, check me in someplace. Also, not under my insurance. She has advised, like we do here, to just go to the ER should the need arise. Now, being on medicaid, my psych coverage is with the county. But I've not actually dealt with them, so that's all quite unfamiliar (therefore the scary unknown). My physical insurance coverage group, I love, and it is familiar. So, go there, because it is familiar, even if I get re-routed? Or go to a psych-specific county-associated place? Or call the county? Ack. Phones. Worse than doors.

Anyhow, welcome to the brain blender. Ugh. And back around. We're into her off days. Which, as you can see from above, may not be all that relevant.

At THIS moment, I'm thinking ride it out. The visions in those moments of agitation have all been, while grim, not terribly likely. Accomplishing nothing but messing myself up is a pretty effective reality-check for me. Besides, most of the time I can't muster to give a rat's azz.

In the agitated time is when it really strikes how I'm not as tough as all that as I'd like to think...
It's hard to admit just how much hand holding I actually do need sometimes.