Hello basicgoodness. I have somewhat similar health related concerns (mine are cardiac, and like you I would be ready for it to take me today or tomorrow). I understand about people not "rallying". I don't have any support around but I've noticed that I get a card from coworkers on my birthday or for an extended illness... However I've been out of work for three or four weeks now due to depression and no one sends a card for that.

I am working really hard on staying alive. Therapy, an IOP program, and multiple support groups during the week. I am doing this strictly for myself only because I am in so much emotional pain but I am hoping for a better solution than suicide that can end the pain. So far the IOPp program I am in seems to be helping. The physical health thing is a different story. I am not scared at all by my recent new diagnosis.

I am hoping that you can find a way through the pain and find a way out of the depression. Please try to follow the medical advice in the meantime. I know it is hard. I am hoping that I am on a path to recovery. There was a period some months ago when I stopped taking all of my diabetes medications... I just didn't care any more. But I'm back on them and trying to be healthy again.