Oh, I didn't see this! I was getting ready to go somewhere rand was reading in a hurry. I feel this way sometimes, too. Sometimes I want to sit on my balcony--I've made it very pretty out there--but my neighbors are on theirs (pretty much all the time in the warm weather) and I'm like, grrrr, I want to be outside alone. The balconies are all connected in my building, separated by a little lattuce divider. They need to actually make walls so that we can have privacy.

Anyway, I digress.

RxQueen said something about my being overbearing and a tough cookie, and I've been thinking about that. I guess I can be overbearing. I try really hard not to be, but it comes from a place of fear. I don't really know how to be any other way; everything good I have in my life came from my hard work. Can't really gain love and friendship through hard work though. Not really. And being a tough cookie...I don't like that about myself. But I think I had to be that way growing up. Long story about why, many chapters. JD (sorry to bring him up) mentioned the toughness, but he said he saw right through it. That I tried to be so tough, but he saw the vulnerable girl underneath. I just now remembered that conversation. Not many people see that. I wonder if that scared me a bit.