Ok so I have a friend named Jay and he knows about my diagnosis but I never told him but he was my friend when I had my first break from reality. We don't talk about it. We stopped hanging out after he got caught up in his hobbies. I didn't really mind because I thought it was nice that he was developing the life he wanted for himself. I started hanging out with an old mutual associate named Sam. Sam too knows about my diagnosis but I have no freaking idea how she found out we don't talk about it but she referred to something and I knew she knew.I guess Jay told her when we all hung out one time. Idk. But I was at Sam's house (she lives with her parents) and I over heard he tell her brother that I didn't have any other friends when I was in another room. I think she asked him to hang out in his room so we could be in the living room and she was apologizing. Sam and I hung out basically every Friday night. I just thought it was our routine. But after hearing her say that to her brother I told her that "I know I don't have many friends right now but I don't want you to feel obligated to hang out with me" she said that she didn't and I left after 30 mins so it didn't seem awkward. I was going to watch a movie but I went out to eat instead. I haven't really been talking to Jay but every once in a while I'll text him randomly. Well this Friday passed and I didn't text Sam to hang out because I don't want her to feel obligated. So the next day which is today Jay asked if I wanted to hangout. I thought it was weird because we don't typically hang out but he has an event coming up soon and I didn't want it to be awkward so I hung out with him. While I was there a visitor stopped by and he told them I had social anxiety which I do but I only told Sam that because it's new. So now I think that they're talking about me to each other. They're both nice people but when I left Jays house I cried because I really don't want pity friends. So I'm torn between being grateful that I at least have someone to hangout with every once in a while and being ashamed that people feel the need to handle me. And it's frustrating because as logical as it sounds it just as easily sounds like paranoia but I know I'm not paranoid. I'm just so ashamed that I have this diagnosis and I really didn't want that to be common knowledge. To be honest I've been crying about it for the past 2 hours and I know that once I finish this test I'm studying for that I can get a job and develop a normal life but I find it extremely hard to cope with my current reality.Any thoughts?