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I can only tell you that BPD is sometimes difficult to diagnose, also because mental health professionals are sometimes the first ones to stigmatize the diagnosis and so prefer not to diagnose it at all. It took me 13 years to get the right diagnosis of BPD, and I know of other people who had to wait many years too.
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When I was diagnosed (after a thorough psychological assessment), the psychologist was like 'I really don't giving this diagnosis...but I'm going to give it to you.'