I would fall back and regroup? Make a list of what you want in a pdoc and/or therapist and that could indicate some questions you had? Maybe just go see someone to get their take on whether you have BPD or not. But I'd "rest" a bit too so the gear changing isn't so immediate/radical and you don't strip the gears :-) Think of some routines and habits you do/have been doing that help you currently and can get you back in balance a bit before forging ahead?