The tests are mostly trygonometry, analitical geometry, algebra...My last test looked like this: https://www.cke.edu.pl/images/_EGZAM...-P1_1P-162.pdf

Yeah, it's not in English, but perhaps you'll get some idea when looking at the numbers and pictures. Geometry is the biggest problem for me, I'm quite okay with basic equations, statistics and stuff like that, although - just like you - I often switch the minus and plus signs or something like that and miss half of the points. The man who's creating these tests now (they're all the same for the whole country and are created in an organization that has not much to do with teachers and ways we were taught) is some freaking geometry lover because there was never so much of it in the past years. He's also trying to make the tests tricky and requiring "creativity", so it's not that basic as it should be, but I cannot do anything about that, so. Each year there are completely different levels of difficulty, these tests vary very much.

Well, there are positive things about me of course, but right now I have no use in them. I know life is not just black-white. Even when I was the worst possible version of myself in high school, the world didn't end. And I was an extremely shocking person with widely known, bad reputation. I'm not like that anymore. They could expell me for my behaviour, yet they didn't, because - as a student - I also had something to offer.

I'm very defensive, because I had to protect myself a lot as a child. I still do, because my father never stopped bringing me down. He's extremely verbally aggressive and stressing people out. My family is full of nasty people, who loved bringing others down. Just like a Pavlov's dog I was taught that the smallest thing done not-the-right-way will end with screams and flow of criticism. I also know that I will never have any support and that's why achievement is so important to me. I was never let to have fun, to relax. I was the scapegoat, often at the point of "it's me vs. the world". Simple example is driving. My friends passed their exams, everyone was happy, their got their cars or borrowed parent's cars, they learned and practiced and now they're driving freely. I passed my exams, was told that I'm probably awful and no, I won't be able to borrow a car, my grandfather said that he'll buy me one but it happened to be just a joke because I don't deserve such things, finally my father let me drive with him but once started shouting at me so badly while I was trying to figure out a situation on the road, my legs strarted shaking, I got all panicked, that I almost collapsed from stress and got out of the car and never started driving again. Few months later I hear his complains that shame on me for not driving, he always has to do it. I wasn't good at driving in the first place, it took my much longer to get through this, but he just added to that. I think it would be much different if I felt I have the freedom to make mistakes like other people. It was like that all the time. When I was young I heard everyone is stupid, each person I was hanging out with. The camps I wanted to go to were considered just a waste of money, etc.I was never rewarded for my accomplishments, so I've lost motivation. Because doing things all the time and seeing no positive outcome is nothing but exhausting.