I appreciate what you're saying, I wouldn't wake her up for a cuddle if she hadn't told me that I could. She wakes me up for a cuddle sometimes too. Waking up for a cuddle is fine because there's no conversation. I was upset by her and then I felt like she didn't care. But after I calmed myself down I got back into bed woke her up for a cuddle and we both went straight to sleep.
I understand you thinking it's selfish, but this is something we have always been ok with in our relationship. She has always told me I should wake her up if I'm really struggling and not sleeping but I very rarely do.
Overall the relationship isn't a tough one, it's only been very recently as I've had quite a nasty relapse and she's never seen me this unwell.
We are working through it, she said she knows things are hard at the moment but that it will all be ok and she's not going anywhere.
She actually said she was glad I woke her up for a cuddle because she missed cuddling to sleep like we normally do. She said in the morning she was just too tired to set what she said straight and didn't want to say anything else to upset me so she just left it. So it wasn't that she didn't care, tbh she didn't have the energy and I was having stupid thoughts.
I'm not always thinking straight at the moment but I am trying to challenge my thoughts.