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Mouse_ said:
Yes I think thats it. Its strange to think she exists in a private life too, and I am also consious of not being seen to want to be involved in thath part of her, although in my fantasys I do

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This reminded me of when I went to my mother's grave (she died when I was 3) as an adult and was surprised to find she was buried under her maiden name. The whole idea of the fact she had had a life before I was born and she and my father were married and my 3 brothers existed, etc. and I wasn't even a "thought" to her. It was odd to think of a time when my mother didn't "know" or love me and was content/happy without me :-)

I once expressed to my T that I had grown up "alongside" of my 3 brothers and she liked that image. One is "stuck" with one's siblings but think about how "well" you know them? Often not very or only until a certain age. For me it is kind of like that thinking about my T. We know "about" them and even know them/their character from intense sessions.