I've been with my son's father for over a year and I don't want to be in the relationship but every time I try to leave he threatens to take our son away and to ruin my life. I've been trying to leave since I was in my third trimester of pregnancy, but I had nowhere to go. We were happy together once, but when I was pregnant he treated me badly, spent all his time at strip bars and tried to leave with another woman one night. I've been trying to get away since then but he's making it very difficult. He uses my problems against me, threatens to have me put away, and says he could get full custody because I have nowhere to go and no money. He blames me for the things he did wrong and its exhausting to me. Its amazing how no one in my life ever takes responsibility for their actions. So my wrongs are my fault and their wrongs are also my fault. I try to leave my boyfriend and he says I'm breaking up our family when he's the reason I want to leave. This morning I told him I wasn't waiting around for him to get bored and chase after other women again and he said its my responsibility to make sure he doesn't get bored. WHAT? So basically he has a ready excuse to cheat. After all, whats the gauge of his boredom, right? I'm so tired of this $h!t. My ex treated me like crap for years but it wasn't his fault, it was his job, my personal issues, he was too young, and did I mention it was my fault? 6 months ago the person who abused me for years when I was growing up called to apologize. He had been through therapy in prison (not for what he did to me) and was still seeing a psychologist and he said asking my forgiveness was part of his therapy. I told him he ruined my life, i've never been normal and I've had serious issues for years and he said it was my fault I can't move on. So why apologize? He happens to be related to me, btw. And my mother has always said I'm a screw up and I don't take responsibility for my screw ups. Why cant he take some responsibility and explain to my mother why I wound up this way? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be posting a question. THis is more of an aimless rant. Once again my life is a horrible twisted mess and maybe it is my fault. Its hard to tell as everything always seems to be my fault.