Trust is very important. Things just don't work well without trust. I wouldn't let trust fall by the wayside because he gets upset.

Not to defend him but he isn't alone in watching adult movies. It's a serious problem if he is using that as a replacement for intimacy. For me mastrubation and intimacy are two different things. The visual help me get there. Intimacy is a lot more involved and its about knowing and having fun with someone else.

Just because he finds some women attractive doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive. Personally I find a lot of women attractive and it doesn't change my opinion. Looks are looks, what matters is what we do with those feelings. If he sees some hot woman and losses interest in you because of it then he is a jerk.

I hope you get the relationship where you want it to be. Stand up for yourself and in a healthy relationship you shouldn't have an uncontrollable urge to check in on him. He is the one who violated your trust and it should be his task to make up for lying to you and earn some of your trust back.