Saw my psychiatrist. He thinks the pot has triggered a mixed episode and I might also have some PTSD stuff coming though. He has me on higher doses of Clonazepam and Zyprexa to try and calm me down. I really hope it works. I am in despair, wondering how I am going to get along in this world with these illnesses that rob me of a normal life. I can't even study right now so how am I going to get through the next 2 years of my degree?? Meds help but make me gain weight. Another reason for despair. Everything seems hopeless. Suicide crosses my mind often but I remind myself of my family and how much I am loved so I try to stay strong. At least I have internet access. Surfing is a good distraction. Sorry to be so negative but I cannot see through the dark cloud I am in. I am lost. My doctor was extremely supportive and encouraging which helped a lot. I am just going to knuckle down and wait for this to pass.