daybydayone, one thought/story you might want to keep in the back of your mind, what would have helped me at your age; I saw my T from 1978-1987 and had to terminate because I was moving and my job was moving further away, etc. It was hard/horrible and it took me 3-4 years to get off my "surface" and back down into my depths where "I" live :-) I felt like I'd been locked out by my subconscious or something. I was fine, did well in relationships, had a good time with my boyfriend/husband-to-be and otherwise "appeared" well but I had moved from my apartment of 13 years, left all my friends from that area, terminated therapy, changed jobs -- you couldn't have fit more serious changes into my life! :-) I coped by skating along the top and not "analyzing" my life like I was accustomed.

But the part of the story you'll want to remember is, I came to a place where I badly needed therapy again, where I was in serious psychological trouble and at a loss what to do. I spent a couple days crying and in lots of pain, wishing for my old therapist -- it took me that long to realize I could call her and see her again! It was 1996 and nine years since I'd seen her before (and a lifetime of experiences; I was happily married, in very different circumstances jobwise, etc.) and I had been feeling like termination was her dying/disappearing off the face of the earth. LOL. You can get through school and get "established" and then maybe see this T again if you want! That's the #1 thing in my entire life (I'm 57) that I'd have liked to know -- that I could/would see my T again and all would be well! The #2 thing is that my major life mistake from 1971 (when I was in college, I graduated in 1972) would be "fixed" in 2007. Don't ever give up on your "future", wonderful things can happen and you can't know when/how/where, etc. Try to look at life like an "adventure" and go "with" it.

As to the boyfriend, can you reopen the discussion and see how he's feeling "now" and what his thoughts are? Maybe make a plan to see him over Thanksgiving vacation or Christmas, etc.? Don't forget you'll make new friends/acquaintances at Uni. And there will be lots of new experiences to distract/help you get through. It might be hard/painful but it's doable. Keep coming here, for starters, over time it will feel like you're part of a group and you'll get to know people here (like me :-) and that will do a lot of good too.

Any sort of groups for ME/CFS you can join near/at school? Any people you can write real letters to/from while at school? My stepson was away for nearly a year recently and I sent him a postcard a day and had a blast finding that many postcards that I thought he'd enjoy and thinking of little things to say to him on each one. It was like having a different sort of journal and helped me in lots of different ways (to pay attention and look for/see things each day of enough interest to report). It was kind of a nice habit to have. You have a grandmother or aunt or friends at other schools, etc. you could write often? I still have a couple letters my girlfriends from high school wrote me while we were in different colleges (and still have those girlfriends :-)

For awhile after I terminated with my T the first time I still ocassionally wrote her letters. She didn't acknowledge/reply, of course, but since it was her business address and she could do whatever she wanted with the mail, I didn't see it as an imposition to her and it was helpful to me (which should be your #1 priority, what helps YOU get better!). I could picture her reading it and I guess it is a little like writers of books picture their audiences. "Knowing" her as I did, I was pretty sure she did read the letters and "enjoyed" receiving them. I sent her a wedding picture when I got married :-) I had just met/started dating my husband a year or so before we terminated.