i have to comment that your post is quite lucid and shows good organized thinking... glad to hear you had a pleasant experience with your friend... most of all, don't feel bad that you feel bad... but don't give up hope. I know at times it just seems like a tease, but for real... hang in there... it's never to late to find value in your experiences, even the bad ones. if nothing more you may find yourself able to comfort those that experience the same as you have...

i couldn't decide a career either, and really, that does seem to matter. what i do now is nothing the way i pictured it at a younger age, but, it's okay... life surprises most people i think. with all due gratefulness, it changed my life being able to find value despite some serious down time. i HOPE the same will come true for you...