Hi, Genesis,
I found that as I could define certain things, then I could remember certain things. Most were things that I never really 'forgot' but they were not things that I thought about - ever. When I began to be able to define actions and abuses that happened with a more mature mind, then the memories had understanding and I could grasp them. Before there was no understanding, so the grasping was fruitless so my mind put it away for later. For some things it was as simple as an 'oh, that's what it was.' Other things were deeply disturbing. . .not upsetting - disturbing. They presented a whole slew of confused quandrums that I still could not grasp in any way that made any sense. Some of the memories are weird because I went 'somewhere else' a lot. It took me years - a little at a time to understand what was really happening. There are still a lot of gaps in my memory - years missing. Even as a young adult there are long gaps. I saw a therapist about 15 years ago, and I was stressing over what I don't remember, she just said 'you will when you are ready, don't sweat it. If you aren't ready, it's good that you don't remember.' She's right. Everything I've remembered, I did so when I was ready, and I was ok. I survived it. I was better for it. I understood it, and I was able to begin to heal from it. I had the tools to heal when I was ready. Her advice on the matter was a gift. I still have a few years that I don't remember that I'm curious about. When I'm ready, I'll find those memories, sort through them and I will be ok.

I also understand what Ozzie is talking about about being sensitive to other's pain. There are movies that tear me to pieces and I haven't had that type of abuse. But I know what abuse is, and I feel profound empathy for the characters.

(((((((Genesis))))))))
Beth